FOCUS ON THE LIGHT: Packo/True Colors

Which lyrics you have written do you feel most proud of?

As far as personal songs it's"My Heartbeat" and "The Way to Myself". Those are tributes to my girlfriend and my beautiful daughter. After all we have been through right now we are living our life perfectly. Really complete. Those are two of the most important lyrics i ever wrote on a personal level. They were also my two favorites to write because they were really easy. Normally, i need a lot of time to write lyrics but with those songs they just seemed to come out of the pen. It was perfect. But as for other songs that have more of a message i would say "Focus on the Light". The message in this song is one of the most simple to express and one of the easie to learn. You see people getting older in life and getting busy with themselves and really into those four walls for us we just try to see behind those walls. That is what "Focus on the Light" is really about. Those are really important lyrics for me.

You seem to be going through a bit of a change in life, a good change. You have a house with your girlfriend, a wonderful daughter etc. How do you balance that hardcore kid side of personality with your newer more adult reality? Many people can't seem to find this balance and go to the extreme one way or another.

First of all our daughter, Arwen, was a really easy kid so we don't have any problems with her sleeping and stuff like that. But to get back to your question being a hardcore kid and being aware of all the things that happened in the past was always important to me. What i got out of the messages and the music just contributed to the positive ways of living right now. I don't freak out. I listen to music, i go to work, i come home and i have great time with my daughter and girlfriend watching movies, talking, laughing, everything. I don't have to find a balance it's just real easy step for me to take. I think being a hardcore kid made me the dad and the person i am today.

That's great way to look at it. It's one of those things so many of us ask ourselves "how do i continue on in life and still stay this vital, creative person that i am?"

For me, it's really easy. I can enjoy going to a show. But also be real down to earth. It just makes sense. All the things i've said, that i've screamed before i was the father i am today have all made for the perfect life for me now. I guess i never thought about it that way. I think i am just an easy person. I try to enjoy life as best i can and my girlfriend and my daughter are really perfect in that picture.

One of the new songs off the "Consider it Done" EP is called "Alone". How does that feeling of being alone fit in with everything you are talking about here?

When i talk about feeling alone i am not talking about sitting in my room feeling depressed. An example would be going on tour. I have such great times with my friends but i have to be at work on Monday. When i get back i have to get back in my normal life. But it's not easy cause you have all these ideas of living free, doing what you want, going wherever you want to go. I am really a person who likes to do the things that i want to do. But it's hard when you have to work and pay your bills and sometimes you feel alone like you can't be the person you really are. My girlfriend and i have talked about this many times. About just leaving it all behind, traveling with Arwen and building up a new life somewhere else. But on the other hand, that's just a dream for now.

What motivated you to sit down and write the song "Human Touch"?

The songs "Up to Us" and "Human Touch" are very similar topics. But "Human Touch" is about how we just work 9-5 everyday but so many people are not aware of what goes on around them and just seem not to care anymore. So many horrible things happen everyday to kids, to people. As long as they get their money to pay their bills they are happy. It's hard for us to see and a little bit shameful too when you realize what this world is coming to. I don't think people have that touch with the world anymore. The pressure is so high when people have to go to work everyday. Everything, even morals and standards seem to fade away.

I have gotten the sense from you and from the other guys in True Colors that "The Way to Myself" is a song that people have really connected with. The feeling of gratitude that it express is really powerful. What initially inspired you to write these lyrics and whom were they about?

Yeah that's true man a lot of people have taken that song to me something for them. That's really cool that they can get something out of it. For me when i wrote that song it was because there was a time that i drifted away from hardcore a bit. I'm not ashamed of it. I just didn't get that feeling anymore that we really could make a change at that point in my life. Then i met my girlfriend and she didn't change me but she opened my eyes to the simple lesson in life that if you want to do something you can do it. I am very grateful for that cause it was such a simple lesson but one i had forgotten at the time. I just opened my eyes again. I started a band and I started writing lyrics. With that song i just wanted to say thank you to her.

When you showed her the lyrics what was her reaction?

I wanted to surprise her with it but whenever i give her a present or anything i can't just keep it to myself, i have to tell her. But she was really surprised and so grateful. It's a great feeling to know she gets emotional with songs like "The Way to Myself" and "My Heartbeat".

The lyrics to " Focus on the Light" are very simple and profound but many bands have written songs that have a that similar message of "don't give up". When you went to write this song how did you go about it differently?

When i would go to showsand hear people complaining about the most ridiculous stuff like "the record I wanted to order is sold out" or" the limited press of that record is sold out or that they have to go home at 10 o'clock. Like i said before this is such an easy message but for so many people it's so hard to understand. So to me, it's like instead of whining, instead of complaining try to do something with you life. Look to the left, look to the right and see that there are so many beautiful things in this world. Just walk around and get out from behind your computer or off your couch and learn about life by talking to people. With hardcore kids, just stop complaining about how bad a band is or how shitty a new record is listen to a good record instead! Instead of complaining or feeling down just focus on the light and in the end you will see that life can always make sense.

Out of the new songs off the "Consider It Done" EP is there one that you really feel passionate about?

I was pretty excited to write this last record but if i had to choose just one it would be the song "Consider It Done". I put so many emotions into it and so many things that i felt and all the things i have been through all these years in True Colors i tried to put into those lyrics. All the things that i learned, saw, was disappointed about and all the things i felt positive about. I was so happy with how it all worked out with that song. The feeling i get when i listen to that song is really amazing.

One of the first things i noticed about your voice when i heard the True Colors demo was that you were very intense, very angry. Which i liked cause it reminded me of Ray Cappo! When i got the chance to meet you and hang out it became clear that you are not some sort of overly angry, crazy type person. When you are singing or writing lyrics, what is the place anger has in all that?

For me, hardcore is showing your anger in a positive way. That's what i am trying to do with True Colors. Like you said, i am not an angry dude or a hard dude I am just a normal person living his life. When I am writing my lyrics i am writing them about things i see in this world and some of those things do make me really angry but i don't go out on the street and shout at people or get frustrated. Anger has a place in my life and i think i am probably angry every day cause there is alway one thing or another that makes me upset or even sad. But i am trying to put it in the right place in my life. When i am angry i just listen to a good hardcore song or just a good song cause i think music in general really helps.

You guys are playing your last show on May 22nd in Antwerp. When it's all said and done what are you going to miss most about True Colors?

I think i am going to miss everything. We were four different kids who don't really have anything in common. I didn't know Wim before the band. I knew Peers from his other bands back in the day. I didn't know who Dunk was i just knew he played on the Justice demo. We never fought. We always had great times together. I can't express how much i am going to miss driving to show with those guys cause we never really cared about the

distance or the time. We just had a great time. So yeah, I am going to miss everything: recording, practice, shows but the most would be tours man. That's something special. I did tour with my other band (Building) but touring with True Colors was totally something new for me. We did all those tours with Justice and had the best of times then did tours with a bunch of other American and European bands, then we went to the States and now we are going to Russia. I am really grateful for that and everything people did for us. That is something that really made me believe hardcore. It's just so crazy that a band that not many people know can tour the world and people will help them. That is probably the coolest thing about hardcore: if you are really into a thing you can do anything. You can start a label, a fanzine or a band and you can really achieve something by spreading a message and having people all over the world listen. It's pretty amazing.

How have you seen the other guys in True Colors grow from the beginning of the band until now?

Dunk and Peers were a bit older like me so they already worked and had their own lives. They already were people that they are. But the best thing for me was being with Hinkey (Wim) cause he was just a young kid when we started and he just learned everything with True Colors. He was 17 when we started and he is 24 now and he just went through so many things. Watching him become the grown up he is today is pretty cool man. I guess in the end though we all grew towards each other more and more. We will be great friends after True Colors

How have you seen yourself grow since the being of True Colors?

When we started True Colors I was a bit afraid of going on stage, practicing, writing lyrics, trying new things. It was really difficult for me in the beginning. I was afraid of expressing myself and getting really personal and really writing personal lyrics. That was probably the biggest difference. Being more confident and able to write personal lyrics was probably, for me, the best part of being in a hardcore band. I had never done that before. Of course becoming a father changed me alot. It was made me a little more down to earth, a bit quieter and not always having the big mouth that i had before.

What is something you really hope people take away from your lyrics and from True Colors?

I hope people always remember our live shows. Playing live for us and hearing those songs we rehearsed for so long was probably the best part for us. I always hoped people would not see us as just a typical youth crew band. I never wanted to be a typical band or a youth crew band either. I just wanted to play hardcore that i loved. I hope people see us as a hardcore band that really had something to say and remember us as a band that was about focusing on the positive things in life. I hope they see us as a band that tried to make a change and i hope we did.

PEACE IS THE SOLUTION: Andy Norton/Praise

With your lyrics did you sit down and let your feelings kind of spill out or did you say "i want to express this but sort of philosophize about my feelings too?

I had a really hard time writing lyrics. I knew from the start the things I wanted to talk about but I had a really tough time translating those thoughts into words. I think that I did a little of both as far as letting feelings spill out and the latter. I would try to just write thoughts out, write lines down and so forth and then try to bring them together to make them consistent.

How is the role of a singer different for you than playing bass?

The role of the singer is definitely different then playing bass. I had been playing bass in bands for close to 10 years and I had grown pretty comfortable with it. I feel like with bass, guitar or drums you have something to kind of hide behind, and I don’t mean that in a negative way. It’s just that you have this instrument that is physically in front of you and covers you and with singing there is none of that. You have a microphone and the rest is out there for the world to see. On top of that you’re the mouthpiece so when the music stops its just you speaking or standing there while the rest of the band tunes. It’s a very new thing for me and definitely taking time to get use to.

What made your want to sing for a band?

There are actually a couple of things that made me want to sing for a band or just do something like Praise. I remember being 15 or 16 and getting the Automatic-Crossing Kill Creek record. A friend told me that Matt Wieder had written and recorded everything but drums. I know Brian Baker had done similar stuff for Dag Nasty as far as writing all the music and a lot of the lyrics. Anyways I always thought it was a cool thing because the end product is almost a direct representation of you. If something comes out that you don’t like in the song there is no one to blame but yourself. The initial songs I wrote for Praise were for another band but when that band broke up I decided that those songs would be used for Praise and I would attempt to do what I had wanted to do for such a long time. Initially I was just going to have my friend play drums and do the rest of the record but fortunately it has turned into something much more special. I was introduced to four dudes who share the same ideas and ideals as me and they took the songs I had written and really brought them to life. The second reason I wanted to sing for a band was because I felt like I had a lot of stuff inside of me that I wanted to say. Sure a lot of the things I want to sing about have been said before but think it should be said again and again until people start to listen.

Was there one instance where you said "i really have to sing for a band"?

I don’t think there was ever one instance that I said “I really have to sing for a band.” Its something I always wanted to do but was unsure if I would be capable of writing lyrics and actually having the voice to do it.

The song "Caught in a Cycle" is pretty honest. You talk about feeling trapped, like nothing works and unable to help yourself. Was there one specific thing that inspired you to write this song?

Caught In a Cycle is about depression and mood disorders. Everyone deals with mood swings or depression in one way or another. Some have it worse then others and some know how to deal with it better. Then you have some people who have actual chemical imbalances in their body who just cant deal with it. Since I was 14 I’ve dealt with depression been on and off anti-depressants and so forth. I’ve seen therapists and doctors and just heard the same things over and over again. It is a never ending cycle, I get depressed cant get out of the house, cant get motivated, don’t want to talk to anyone or be around anyone and so on (I know these are things that most people go through at times but I am talking about lasting day after day, month after month and year after year.) It just never goes away. It is definitely not a song asking for sympathy or pity that’s not something I am searching for. Depression is something Ive dealt with for a long time and writing this song was another attempt at dealing with is in a positive manner. You’ll have these doctors telling you that you need to be on medication is the only answer. So you get put on the meds and often feel like a zombie. I ask myself is it better to be off the meds and do nothing with my life or be on the meds and walk around like a zombie. Which one is really living?

"I am searching and searching for something to help but who can help me when i can't help myself?" Explain your thinking around this line about yourself and people as a whole.

I tell myself on a daily basis that I am in control of my life, my emotions, and my moods. If there is something I am unhappy with I have the power to change it. That line pretty much stems from that mindset. How I can I expect someone else to help me if I cant even do it on my own?

What would you say to someone who is feeling trapped/caught etc?

I think it depends on the person. I definitely think talking about it with friends and family helps. Letting it all bottle up inside is just going to hurt you in the long run. I say explore all your options and let the ones around you know what is going on, as hard as that may be.

Has writing this song helped in any way?

I suppose it has helped me. It’s a little weird having this stuff out in the open for anyone to read, criticize and analyze but I think its good for me and much healthier then holding it all in.

What was the inspiration behind the song "I Believe"?

I think that the lyrics to “I Believe” are pretty self-explanatory. The inspiration behind the song is me getting upset when I feel like the things I do in life, that I feel could bring some sort of positive change to the world around, are really doing nothing. I am definitely not as active in my community as I should be but I think that I do stuff in life at in attempt to make the world around me a better place. Writing this song was pretty much a reminder to myself that no matter how small the action is, if it affects one person in a positive manner, you have made a change.

You have always been a guy real opposed to violence and this expresses that feeling. Was there one event that made you say "i need to sing about this and not something else"?

To be honest the song "Peace is the Solution" was originally supposed to be a song about war but I ended up making it very broad and general so it can be applied to violence on any level. There wasn’t one event that made me want to sing about it. I just think the topic of peace is something that will never get old, and people always should be thinking about.

Do you see violence or willingness to fight as a growing problem around you?

I would like to think that most human beings are compassionate and don’t want to hurt the ones around them but unfortunately the stuff I see on news or often at shows does not reflect that thought. Much more can be solved by using your voice and talking something out rather then throwing a fist. Again this stuff has been said so many times before, I know I am not saying anything new, its just time that people start to listen.

Can you explain why you wanted to write the song Healing?

I wrote the majority of this song on the sixth anniversary of my brother’s death. There is really no easy way of dealing with death and the pain doesn’t really ever go away and I personally don’t think I have ever really dealt with it and accepted the fact that he is never coming back. Writing this song was my first attempt at actually dealing with the loss of my brother so that’s why I wrote it. The majority of the song is directed to my father because I think he often believes it was his fault, but there are lines in the song that are definitely for my mother and sister as well. I think all of us wish we could have done more to help my brother but in the end he made his choices and we couldn’t do anything about it.

Was it a hard song to write? Why was it important for you to let him know you don't blame him?

As I said earlier I’ve never really dealt with my brothers death, so yes this was an extremely hard song to write but I feel like it has definitely helped me with the process of dealing with our loss. I don’t really talk to my family about my brother because it makes me really uncomfortable. So writing this song was kind of important for my father and the rest of my family because its gives them an idea of what’s going on in my head. The fact that I am talking so openly about the whole situation is a sign that I am growing and dealing with it because a year ago there is no way I would be willing to air out my life like this for anyone to read.

Have you showed him these lyrics?

Yes I showed him the lyrics and I think he really liked them. I think he sometimes took me not talking about my brother with him as a sign that I was upset with him or blamed him for what happened. So like I said it was a way for him to know how I was feeling.

How do you think you can heal someone's pain? I mean that in the larger sense...

I really don’t think there is one simple way to heal someone’s pain other then just being there for the ones you care about. Listening to them and supporting them in anyway you possibly can. When I say “I wish I could heal your pain” in the song I am saying that there was one simple solution to make all that pain go away but the fact of the matter there isn’t. It takes years to even begin to heal from the loss of a loved one and I just wish I could do something to help begin that healing process.

For PRAISE lyrics see lyrics page above

For more info on PRAISE: http://searchforthesun.blogspot.com/